The Worst Day

Today has been the WORST day. Okay.. maybe not the WORST, but it's been terrible.
To think, we thought I was getting better...

I have been throwing up ALL DAY. On the up side, I feel better afterwards... for about 30 minutes. I don't think I have every been so sick before in my life. I don't have any energy because I haven't been able to keep water, ginger ale, or pedialyte down all day. I've got literally NOTHING in my stomach... I don't even think there is much acid in there any more. I can't really stand or sit up for more than a few minutes without falling over. Yay, what a happy life. And poor Michael comes home from work to a sick wife who looks like she's dead on the bed, and a whining puppy dog who needs to go out.

I feel so bad sometimes. I've actually been super depressed the last month or so because I feel so bad that I literally CAN NOT do anything. The apartment is a mess, and Michael stresses about it because he feels like he has to pick up every responsibility that I can't do anymore. He cooks, works, goes to school, gets things for me, tells me stories to make me happier, and tries to clean... But, it's too much for him to do alone. I just feel so bad and it makes me so sad to see him worry about EVERYTHING and not be able to do anything to help. I just feel so sad sometimes because I feel like I am the worst wife in the world. The saddest part for me, is I try SO hard to feel good enough to pick up at least a few of the things on the floor, but sometimes I can't even do that much. I'm not used to not being able to do anything but sit around sick all day for weeks at a time and it makes me really depressed. I've always been a pretty busy person.. and I still am (well, was...) but now I just get to watch my life pass by.

Today, the owner of the Academy for Cosmetology I go to texted me to check up on me... and it just made me feel really good. I really REALLY miss going to school, but I just can't do it. I'm terrified that I'd get there and be alright for an hour, and then be stranded there because I wouldn't feel well enough to drive all the way home. I really like my school because it's more of a family environment and you get a lot of support from everyone there. My classmates are absolutely fabulous! (They're almost all moms though... so maybe I'll fit in a bit better now! haha). They are really great though. When they found out I was pregnant, they were super excited for me, and all gave me different tips about what worked for them (surprise surprise, NOTHING works for me).

Anyway, about my final tonight... Michael just emailed our teacher, and we might just do a recording of the song later on this week or even in NJ. We'll see what she wants us to do. There is no way I'll be able to perform tonight anyway... I really can't even sit up without being propped up, and even then I get dizzy real soon after. I just want to eat! That's all I want to do... I am SO hungry, and I FEEL hungry, but I also feel super sick at the same time. Talk about worst feeling in the world. I JUST WANT SOME FOOD DARN IT! But, I suppose there will always be tomorrow... and hopefully it's not as bad as today.

If you just read all of that boring, kinda gross, rant, I'm sorry. Read the other post today, it's better.
-Amy