Random thoughts and a special treat for Michelle. :)

Soooo... since being 'home' from New Jersey, I've been watching Joe and Tina's kids. It's been pretty fun for the most part, but it's also been kind of eye opening. It's helped me kind of get an idea of some of the things I'd like to do with my kids to teach them things as they grow up. It is so fun to sit down and talk with Samuel! He'll just sit and listen sometimes and if I ask him questions he'll give me such a blunt and honest answer - it's great!

I mean, I realize that every child is different and each has to learn things in different ways, but it's still been fun to see a little bit how things are run in a different household and see what I like and what I'd rather do a little differently. Don't get me wrong, Joe and Tina have great things going on in their home, there are just some things I'd do a little differently, and I'm sure Michael has his own ideas as well. Everyone does, don't they? Anyway, who knows what will actually end up happening in my home? I'll probably change my ideas/opinions as I go anyway, isn't that what is supposed to happen? You learn as you go? What I guess I'm really trying to say, is it's been fun to see what other people have done because it helps me get my mind going and helps me to start thinking about silly little things that I probably wouldn't have before the situation actually arose in my own family.

I guess in some ways, I can not WAIT to have this baby, but in others I am absolutely terrified. I just have to remember that God wants me to have this baby, at this time, right now in my life. Since being pregnant I've had to do a lot of praying in order to be okay with different things happening in my life right now. I was just in the process of switching career paths... and now, who even knows what will end up happening? I mean, I still intend to get my cosmetology license, but if we have twins or if we have a child that has some sort of special needs, I doubt I'll be able to. I'm just really anxious about what is going to happen to me in my life. Am I really going to be a stay at home all day, house cleaning, mom at age 20? It's not exactly what I had planned... Heck, a year ago, there is NO WAY I would have THOUGHT it was POSSIBLE to even by married by now... much less carrying our first child. Things have just happened so fast it's scary. And so much of it was not in my plans, but I guess God really does have his own plans for us. As I said, since being pregnant I've done a lot of praying (like 10 times as much!) and I've just started to stop complaining to God about everything. Well, complaining isn't necessarily the right word, it's more like worrying... but each time I worry about something, something happens in my life that reassures me that things really will be okay and that this wasn't just some mistake - it really was meant to be. Don't get me wrong, I'm still scared as heck and nervous about having a precious life in MY hands. A life that cannot have a chance without ME there to take care of it. I'm going to be a mom. And I guess the past few days it's really stated to settle in. I'm not sure if it's being back in Utah that's done it, or having to help Joseph and Samuel everyday. I've just been thinking a lot about everything and it's all really starting to sink in.

It's just all going to be so hard with Michael in school. In so many ways I'm just scared I'll feel like a single mom... especially when Michael goes to Med School. How am I supposed to help pay for his tuition (as much as possible) and raise a family? Before, I thought we really could do it, and now, I'm just scared. I know Michael is smart enough, and I know he's dedicated enough and committed enough, but am I strong enough?

Anyway, mom gave me the book "Lighten Up" for Christmas and basically made me promise to read it. So, I picked it up today and started reading it while Samuel was napping (instead of taking a nap myself... kind of a mistake, but I don't know when else I'll have time to read!) and read the first 7 chapters. It's pretty good. I mostly like the stories in it. I've always liked books with spiritual stories in them. Just story after story, but this one is little different because the stories are more embedded within the text. I can't help but think part of the time how she uses different writing skills in her book... (is that absolutely disgusting or what?). I hated english classes when I had to take them, but now I'm stuck thinking about them? YUCK. It's a well written book, but there are some typos... more than other books I've read... so it kind of gets annoying... but not too much. Anyway, I've kinda meandered in topic. What I was going to say, is it's a good book for the most part. It's not really my type of book, but it is uplifting and there are some really good things said. I'd recommend it to other LDS women for sure, and Michael will be reading it whenever he gets a change (maybe over the summer?). It's a good book for anyone to read really, but it's definitely geared toward an LDS audience (women in particular, but would be good for men too). There are just a lot of things said in there that aren't really said other places, but need to be. Both to women and to men.

Anyway...I've got to go check on Samuel and make sure he's still alright napping, and I should probably get Joseph off of the wii... I let him play when he got home from school because Samuel was trying to nap and it was the only quieter thing he wanted to do.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot, here you go Michelle!

So, that is an absolutely terrible picture of me, and pretty terrible quality (my phone isn't super high tech or anything...), don't you think I should have napped today? And to think, I got 10 hours of sleep last night... Oh well, at least it's Friday, which means tomorrow is SATURDAY! Anyway, the angle isn't super good, and my shirt isn't super tight or anything, but as you can see, I'm looking quite... well, I feel quite FAT. I feel huge and disgusting. I think this is the biggest I've been my whole life.
This was taken today, so to my knowledge thus far I am 12 weeks and about 5 days pregnant, but I'll find out for sure next Wednesday! Speaking of... I've got to go get some blood work done tomorrow... and set up my next actual doctors appointment... woot!

Anyway, I really should be going! buh bye!

Updates!

So, I changed my ultrasound from today to next wednesday. It was just too crazy trying to figure everything out with Michael starting school and me watching Joe and Tina's kids. Although, next Wednesday Michael and I will probably bring Joseph and Samuel with us, which might actually be kind of fun. If they don't want to see pictures of our baby, then they can play in the nursurey type area. So, that'll be fine.

Yesterday Michael and I taught CTR 4s in church. I got a phone call about ten minutes before church asking if I could help the teacher out, but when we got to church, the teacher didn't show up, so Michael and I got to teach the class. We read through and learned the lesson during sharing time...

So, it was a little hectic trying to figure everything out and make sure we had some supplies, but it was really fun. There were only two of them, and one was VERY well behaved. It was kind of scary. I don't think I've ever seen a 4 year old so well-behaved in church before. He was just the sweetest cutest thing! Then, the other one was a nightmare... haha, but thankfully Michael was able to do pretty well with him. He just needed someone's full undivided attention. So he sat in Michael's lap most of the time and wanted to talk about what he got for Christmas.

Anyway, the lesson was on Choosing the Right and what that means. Basically, choosing the right means making good choices, and when you make good choices you are happy because you are following God's plan. It was fun, and we even had a snack for them! (thanks to me being pregnant...haha). We gave them each a packet of fruit snacks at the end of class. The Primary President is VERY nice. It was the first time I had met her, and I was very impressed with her. I just don't quite understand why she called me... I guess she was just going down the ward list and Evanson is near the top? Haha.

Anyway, I think it would be a lot of fun for Michael and I to be teachers in Jr. Primary, but that won't happen. I don't plan on getting a calling in our ward, since I'm pregnant... and people who are pregnant in UT don't really get callings... and if they had one, they get released. At least, that's how our ward is...
Although, they don't know I'm pregnant yet (they might have a feeling though because of how I look.. but I could just be getting fat too, right?)
Yeah, I'm not quite sure when to tell my ward, or even HOW to tell my ward... Should I just not tell them and then they'll say something once I am finally undeniably pregnant? Haha... I don't know.

Anyway, it's nap time for me... so I really should go sleep :)

Alright Michelle... here are pictures! Taken today, didn't put on a tight shirt, so I did my best!

Okay Michelle,
Hopefully these will make you feel a little bit better about yourself... since it is my first pregnancy and I am only about 11 weeks along.

At this rate, I will be bigger than you ever will be... no matter how many more kids you have! hah

So, yes, getting into my dress was a task, and I was kind of nervous I would die... and I swear I almost did. I was also nervous I would hurt the baby... and now today, my whole body is super sore, I could tell by the end of two hours yesterday that I'd have a hard time sleeping because of sore muscles/insides from being squeezed into a tiny dress... and believe me, it was a hard to get any sleep. Second night in a row! yay!

Sister Killpack was amazed that I could even get into the dress...
It took 3 people to get me into it...
and I brought a white skirt and shirt to the reception unless I passed out or was in too much pain half way through. heh... I made it... sort of.

Anyway, I woke up feeling so sick this morning, it was the worst morning sickness I've had in about a week... even after taking medicine. Although, I'll admit, I tried not to take medicine yesterday because I wanted to see how well I'd do... so that probably messed me up a little bit for today. Anyway, we're about to play some games because Adam and Meredith are leaving tomorrow so they would like to play lots of games today since everything has been so busy lately so we haven't been able to play much with mom and dad or everyone together.

Anyway, here are the pictures before I go... and before I forget...
Hopefully these make you feel a little better about how big you were at 11 weeks.

Updates from the past two weeks or so

Well, Michael and I are in New Jersey, and have been for about a week thus far, but we have another week of vacationing! Yay! But when we get back, life starts again.... lots of studying and hard work for Michael, and just busy-ness for me. Woot! Anyway, Christmas was fun, it was fun to share my family traditions with Michael, and it's been way fun to spend some time with the family.

We've been staying up super duper late playing games, like shanghai, screwy lewy, mormon bridge, 16, and many others. Michael and I introduced the family to the redneck game of life. Needless to say, it's been fun.

So, anyway, as far as other updates go, I'm still pregnant, very much so. I am definitely showing, quite a bit. (mom wouldn't be surprised if it was twins because of how much I'm shoring) If it weren't for the style dress I bought for the wedding, it definitely would not be fitting me for tomorrow. I tried it on today, and well, it doesn't really fit, but with a few people's help (at least 2 people aside from me), I can sort of squeeze into it. I just hope the zipper doesn't break... oh, and I can forget about breathing for two hours tomorrow... and I'm supposed to sing? Ha, this should be interesting. But at least I should be able to eat a little bit! The morning sickness has been much better recently, but only if I take the new medicine I got from my doctor. He's letting me try another kind, and it's really helped, it just makes me grouchy. Anyway, I've still been feeling pretty sick, but it's been a lot better. I've been able to keep most foods down, which has just been splendid because it means I can actually have a little bit of energy.

Anyway, I'll post again tomorrow, I'm super tired at the moment and still trying to play a game with the family. :)

Alrighttt... here's the news!

Well, I'm not dying! And neither is our baby!

So, because the doctor could feel my Uterus and where it was/how big it was and find the baby's heartbeat in it without a problem, we didn't end up needing the Ultrasound today, but we did get one scheduled for January 9th (it was the soonest we could get one because we'll be gone...)!

So, my doctor thinks that I am either further along in my pregnancy, or we have twins! But, we only heard one heartbeat... so we'll see on January 9th!

However, the way my uterus is sitting, the babies could be behind one another, so there is still a pretty fun chance that we could be having twins. The heartbeat was pretty clear, but there could have been another one in the background, but who knows? It was SOOO fun and amazing to hear the baby's heartbeat. It was super easy to find for the doctor (which is surprising at 9 weeks... they weren't even sure we'd get a heart beat).

It's crazy to actually know that I have life inside of me. I think this whole pregnancy thing has finally started to kick in. The morning sickness doesn't seem so bad now that I'm sure it's not for nothing. Although, it is still VERY bad... haha. It's just more fun now knowing that it's not for nothing. Anyway, so there is still a possibility of having twins.. orrrr I'm just more like 10.5-11 weeks pregnant than 9 weeks. So, I guess we'll find out in about three weeks!

As of right now, my due date is July 14th.

Anyway, I'm exhausted, and I've got the munchies, so it's time for me to do something about that. =)

OBGYN Appointment today!

Well, in about an hour (well, less actually) is my first appointment! I'm not sure how long it is going to be, but afterwards we are meeting with someone who wants to give Trixie a new home.. and then we are meeting up with Michael's brother Brad and his wife Mariah and their baby. It's pretty exciting because I haven't met Brad yet... but don't worry, I'll post about the appointment later. And I'll call the people that have asked :)

Although, if it's twins I'll probably call everyone.

Michael's Two Front Teeth :)

So today Gates and I were texting back and forth a little bit... and she asked what I wanted for Christmas...

I asked Michael, and he said "My two front teeth".
So, I told Gates that what I wanted for Christmas was "Michael's two front teeth ;)"
She responded with, "Bahahaha I mean, I guess I could like.. Try to do that.. But I don't think your husband would look too cute without them! lol"

Haha, and that is one of the many reasons I love Gates Alexis Kielty.

Anyway, today has been alright I suppose. Not too terrible. Michael and I have just kind of enjoyed being with each other. It's been a pretty long week, so the time together was nice :)

We're about to go make some dinner (that I'll hopefully be able to eat). We're going to make Sweet and Sour Chicken. :)
and Tomorrow we're going to try a yummy-looking crock pot recipe I found online! It's Creamed Corn Chicken Soup. So, I guess we'll see what it actually tastes like!

Anyway, that's about it...
Although, we decided we're going to have to give Trixie away after all. I've just been too sick to help with her, and it's been too hard for Michael to have that responsibility on his own. We think she'd be better off with a different home right now and hopefully she'll get the love and attention she deserves.

I think once we post her online she'll go pretty fast because she is still very much a puppy, but she is almost completely trained. She doesn't have accidents inside anymore, and she's learned some pretty fun stuff. (Like "high five"). She's a very smart dog, and a very cute one. It'll be really hard the first little while after she's gone, but as long as I know she's getting the care she needs, it'll be okay. I hope she goes to a family with kids... she REALLY likes playing with people, especially children. And she's actually really good with them too.
She's a very playful puppy still, which is why we just can't do it right now. Michael doesn't have the time, and I don't have the energy. We need an old dog that is calm and cuddly right now :) Haha, but, that's not gonna happen anytime soon. We'll try a puppy again when our kids are old enough to want one and help a little bit with one.

Anyhow, I should get going so I can at least sit in the room while Michael is cooking! :)

-Amy